this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
