nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
