I bet he comes in French.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
