Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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