you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
