so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
