; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
