If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he puts the penis in happiness.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think a kid would responsible me up
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
