shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
