Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
