If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
