At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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