His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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