Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
