i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
COCAINE IS GR8
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
