I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
