Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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