my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
