none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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