You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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