I feel great
I just peed on a car
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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