Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize