and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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