girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
