from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
