You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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