Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
