the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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