just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
