I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
