I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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