Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
