i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
