guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
