Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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