Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Shame is for Republicans.
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