sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
