party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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