I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
