we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I feel great
I just peed on a car
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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