Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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