Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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