He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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