That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
