just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
