He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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