Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize