and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
