last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
