I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Soap is not a condiment
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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