Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
