We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
