Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
