Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
