wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
