i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
