i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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