She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
