He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
